Free WordPress Site Roast — Get Roasted
A brutally honest, no-BS assessment of your WordPress site's performance, security, SEO, and code quality. Delivered to your inbox within hours. Completely free.
Takes 30 seconds to submit. Results in hours. Zero obligation.
Three Steps to a Better WordPress Site
Submit Your URL
Drop your website URL in the form below. Takes less than 30 seconds.
We Analyze Everything
A real developer reviews your site — not just an automated scanner. Performance, security, SEO, code quality, and more.
Get Your Roast
Within hours, you'll receive a detailed, honest assessment with actionable recommendations in your inbox.
A Complete WordPress Health Check
Not a generic automated report. A real assessment by a developer who's built WordPress solutions for years.
Performance Analysis
Page speed scores, load time bottlenecks, Core Web Vitals assessment, and specific optimization recommendations.
Security Scan
SSL configuration, exposed admin panels, outdated software detection, and common vulnerability checks.
Plugin Health Check
Outdated plugins, known conflicts, performance impact assessment, and better alternatives when they exist.
Mobile Responsiveness
How your site performs on phones and tablets, touch target sizing, and mobile-specific UX issues.
SEO & Search Visibility
Meta tags, heading structure, image optimization, indexability issues, structured data, internal linking, and Google ranking opportunities you're missing.
Prioritized Action Plan
Not just problems — solutions. Ranked by impact so you know exactly what to fix first for the biggest improvement.
100% free. No credit card. No spam.
Selling Plugins or Themes to the EU?
The EU Cyber Resilience Act takes effect September 2026. If you distribute WordPress plugins or themes to European users, you need to comply with new security, documentation, and vulnerability management requirements.
Check the developer box on the roast form and we'll include a CRA readiness assessment in your report — covering SBOM requirements, security practices, and documentation gaps.
Learn About CRA Compliance →Common Questions
Is this really free? What's the catch?
No catch. The roast is 100% free. I do this because it's a great way to meet WordPress site owners who might need help down the road, and I genuinely enjoy finding and fixing WordPress problems. If you want help implementing the recommendations, we can talk — but there's zero pressure.
How long does the roast take?
You'll receive your roast report via email within hours of submitting your URL.
What if my site isn't on WordPress?
This roast is specifically designed for WordPress sites. If you're on a different platform, I can still look at performance and security basics, but the analysis won't be as detailed.
Will you share my site URL with anyone?
Absolutely not. Your site URL, email, and all roast results are completely confidential. I never share client or prospect information with third parties.
What's the CRA compliance check?
The EU Cyber Resilience Act (CRA) is new legislation requiring software producers — including WordPress plugin and theme developers — to meet specific security and documentation standards. If you check the "I build WordPress plugins or themes" box, I'll include a brief assessment of your CRA readiness alongside your site roast.
Get Your Free WordPress Site Roast
30 seconds to submit. Results in hours. Zero obligation.